It's all fun and games, until someone splits their toe open.

Well I must say black friday went smashingly well! I decided to get an early start and left the house at 3:15am. It was 4:45 when I approached one of the stores. There was a line stretching half a mile long with people waiting outside (most of whom had been there since the night before.) Do I want to stand in this line? No way! So instead I grabbed a hot cup of coffee, thanks Starbucks! Sipping my warm drink and eating my scone I watched as the line took a half hour to enter the store. Then, once everyone was in, I popped out of my car, entered the store, grabbed what I needed and checked out all within 20 minutes! Boy am I glad I didn't freeze all night for that! In fact, I moved in and out of every store I visited with ease, getting everything I needed (mostly for myself, ha!)

After a long day of shopping I took a nice drive down to my sister's house to celebrate our late Thanksgiving. It was all good eats and fun until a kid touched an open flame on a candle, and two others ended up in the ER. One from a concussion and my brother from breaking his toe and splitting his nail away from the cuticle! OUCH! And now my sister has laryngitis. Thanksgiving is dangerous! Well I'm thankful I escaped unscathed!

A love affair

I'm completely having a love affair with cashmere right now. I recently brought my purple cashmere scarf back to life. I completely forgot how warm and soft it is. This brought me to my next epiphany! I must have everything in cashmere! Maybe I'll get some cashmere goats and start knitting my own things. Now accepting free goats. After much searching I'm wondering why nobody makes cashmere underwear? I mean... really. I asked my breasts what they wanted for christmas and they said a cashmere bra! Ladies... I have come to the conclusion that our ladies deserve to be pampered! I'll be working on it, don't fret! 

On a completely different note, tomorrow I will be braving the crowds to try and find some great Black Friday steals. Who's going to be waking before the crack of dawn with me?  Let me know if you find any unusual items, particularly in cashmere! Tomorrow we can share stories! It was brutal last year; only run over people with your shopping cart if you absolutely MUST!

Meee-ow!

Tonight's post will be short and sweet. Mmm sweets.. I could totally go for some chocolate right now. Unfortunately, I'm suffering from a brain-throbbing migraine. But, I just wanted to put it out there that my kitty creations (aka ornaments) are complete! You can check them out, up close and personal, on Etsy  by going here. Tomorrow we'll party like some crazy cats. Au revoir!

Ham for the holidays.

Winter is finally upon us and wow it's cold. I live in an area that goes from 90 to 40 overnight. With the sudden change in weather, it finally feels like the holiday season. It was decided that it's time to do my Thanksgiving dinner grocery shopping.

This year Thanksgiving dinner will be at my sister's house on Saturday, but I still want to do something on Thursday. So the excursion began. All I want is a small brown sugar ham. After visiting multiple grocery stores with no luck, I finally exclaimed out loud: Doesn't anybody carry personal sized hams anymore?! You know, for people with no family or loved ones? I'll take the silence as a no.

Maybe I'll start my own ham company. Ham for singles. Yeah, I like it. But I don't want to run it or anything... I'll need some cheap labor. And pigs.

Dinner with a side of sarcasm, please.

Tonight was spent stuffing myself with breadsticks, salad, and chicken alfredo. I washed it down with Tropical Sangria (although, I'm not so sure what was so Tropical about it. I'm pretty sure Sangria is supposed to have fruit it in; thank you unnamed waitress.) As if that wasn't enough, I topped it off with a cookie and coffee. My stomach already let me know its thoughts on tonight's indulgence.

It was a birthday celebration. Not mine, of course, but a good time all around. Close friends conversing and eating. We sure know how to party. We were seated in the back corner of the restaurant. As soon as we sat down we all professed how grateful we were that it was so quiet and hoped the waitress wouldn't come back too much. Can't you tell we're very lively? (And social!) 

So with the buttons on our pants about to fly off at any moment, it was time for the birthday girl to open her gifts. Makeup brushes, scarf, lotions, bought cd's, burned cd's and cash. Speaking of cash, I found a $5 bill in a huge rain puddle, in a parking lot, and decided to fish it out with my bare hands. I hope she spends it well! ;)

The night was coming to an end, so as we smoked our last cigarette we proclaimed that if life doesn't work out after all we'll just live together in a big house and adopt a bunch of children. Our goals are set high on this birthday night.

But don't fear, my dear friend, it will work out. You're the cat's meow!

Sorry boys, this one's for the ladies (& I'm sorry ladies, too!)

I'm sorry for not posting last night, as usual. Unfortunately I was having a mini-meltdown about my ovaries. Yes, I said it. My ovaries. As the expression goes, I'm not getting any younger and I still haven't met prince charming (I added the last part.) Only, my idea of prince charming is someone who will feed me and laugh at my attempt to crack jokes.

My sister and her husband recently had their first child and I guess it got me thinking that my ovaries are going to shrivel up and I'm going to miss my chance and child bearing. I think this thought might have been slightly exaggerated in my head though, considering I have at least another 8 years where I'd consider myself young enough to get started.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure this meltdown had something to do with my monthly visiter. I'm sorry, but why is it aways portrayed as some blooming flower that brings joy to the womanly species. I'd like to see a commercial that shows a woman having mood swings, gaining 10 lbs, having severe cramps, and changing her clothes 12 times because she either feels fat or she's ruined them. Sell me the product that fixes that!


If I could wear a yellow bikini and dive into a pool and start synchronize swimming, I don't think I'd need your pill (or whatever that advertisement is, you ladies know), thankyouverymuch!

Airplanes and...sinners?

Airplanes keep getting smaller and smaller these days, and fellow passengers are getting too close for comfort. I experienced this not-so-long ago while taking a trip to Michigan with my sister.

I made my sister sit in the middle seat, of course, because... well, why would I subject myself to so much discomfort? Flights are boring, so thank God I brought my mini DVD player! (Seriously, who wants to pay $5 bucks for a movie? I could redbox it for cheaper!) I chose to bring my entire collection of Sex in the City (all wrapped up in a pink suede case.) 

Everything started out so beautifully.. we were about 3 episodes in, and right in the middle of a juicy sex scene, when suddenly we were rudely interrupted by the outer edge of our airplane sandwich. Maybe she would like to join our steamy viewing. Wrong! Bible propaganda, what?! Yes, she finagled her way into handing out religious pamphlets about changing our ways. I nod, smile, take her brochures, and I'm genuinely thankful I now have a place to dispose of my over-chewed gum. 

Glancing at my sis, with one of those ok-that-was-weird looks, I un-pause our show. But wouldn't you know it, miss chatter-mouth is at it again. How many pamphlets does she travel with anyhow? Now, I'm not saying what I believe one way or another, but this is getting to be a little distracting.

Finally, silence. Un-pause. Damn, now I have a guilty conscience. The girl won. Stopping the show, my sister looks at me... I know that look. I guess it's just xanax and martinis from here until Michigan.